I woke up today and my shattered windshield was fixed.. I could see everything so much more clearly...
My Razorblade breakfast didn't taste as sweet today.. perhaps it's stale?
Or perhaps I've grown tired of it..
The winds of change blow through the trees of hope today..
I can hear the sounds of life in stereophonic surround sound, now that the screams of fear have stopped their daily barrage every Mourning...
The morgue at which my mind had been kept, said it was alive.. that was unexpected..
The sun was black in the sky as if in resenting the fact that I am alive..
"Fuck You, Sun"
The world's lights went out..
The morphine dripped s l o w l y into my IV...
Drip.
Drip..
Drip...
Drip....
It amused me.. The morphine bag said "Love" on it.. I thought that to be rather amusing..
The room is dark.. It is quiet.. My deadlights have gone out.. my deadlights are out..
Death has abandoned me.. but Life is running late..
There's no going back now..
Or is there?
It's all over..
But it's all just beginning..
Maybe I'm DEAD.. maybe I'm alive...
Maybe I've been reborn...
Who knows..
Who cares..
My deadlights have gone out and I'm just fine.. I can see just fine through this cracked windshield beside my bed...
Wait.. it's a window...
Wait.. it's not a bed..
Who are all these people.. why are they looking at me so sadly...?
Why is it so bright.. my d e a d l i g h t s have gone out.. it cannot be bright...
They are gone.. they are gone.. they are hollow like the eyes in front of me..
Wait.. they are my eyes.. where am I? Who...?
This not me.. this is not me..
This road is not the way home.. this is not the way.. My deadlights have gone out.. officer, please take me home..
I cannot find my way.. the morgue says NO VACANCY and I need a place to die for the night.
Excuse me, sir, do you have the time? Or are you too busy staring [TEARING] at me too?
Why are the flowers dead? Why are all the flowers dead?
They are not flowers.. they are children
Why are all the children dead?.
WHY are ALL the children DEAD??
Where are their mothers.. ? Did they throw them away like the soiled sheets they wrapped their aborted lives in...?
Why are the children dead..? Why do they look so happy?
Why is all the happiness dead..? Why do they look like children?
My heart is a piece of glass..
Cutting everyone it touches.. but broken so easily..
The light would shine upon your beautiful face... but it cannot.. because my deadlights have gone out..
Or are they just off..
Mother.. where are you.. where were they? Help me find my way back home.. but where is home..
Home is where the heart is.. But my heart is in my chest.. Am I always at home? I do not feel so at home here.. it's so cold.. or maybe I make it cold.. I wish he would stop staring at me.. Officer, thank you for helpingme to the morgue, but would you make the dead man stop staring at me... His eyes are needles and they pierce my soul.. they shatter my windshield again.. I thought I could see clearly.. even with my black deadlights..
Maybe I can..
Maybe I was wrong
I'm in love.. I'm in love.. I can be in love.. can I be in hate with someone? Why not? Don't you see the silver grin on their graffiti faces as they stare from behind the filthy glass...
Officer.. please take me home.. I am at home, but home is not here.. it said "please leave your shame and number after the beep and I'll stab you in the back as soon as possible..thank you"
Officer.. please PLEASE take me home.. It's so dark out with this fucking sun.. I can't see anything with all these people staring at me from in the mirrors.. I can't see.. they just mock me from their cold glass tombs..
MY DEADLIGHTS HAVE GONE OUT
MY DEADLIGHTS HAVE GONE OUT
MY DEADLIGHTS HAVE GONE OUT
MY DEADLIGHTS HAVE GONE OUT
MY DEADLIGHTS HAVE GONE OUT
My home is here.. my home is not here..
My love is here... My hate is there...
Death has abandoned me.. but Life is running late.. He must have forgotten to set his alarm.
I've done that before.. and I didn't wake up til it was too late.. I realized all the things that I was killing, but it was too late.. because I didn't set the alarm..
AND I WOKE UP TOO LATE...
Pain.. what is the difference between pain and pleasure.. IS THERE a difference?
Perhaps not..
Some people tell me I am not RIGHT in the HEAD...
But I don't know...
I KNOW I'm not LEFT...
But what IS LEFT??
Life..
Life is left..
But life is running late...
Fucking alarm clock..
He had better hurry up...
I'm getting Impatient.. or am I IN-PATIENT...?
The doctors say I am..
They tell me that when they turn on my DEADLIGHTS...
But they don't really know.. They can't see through this windshield they call my mind...
My windshield is fixed now... But what is there to see..?
Nothing because the deadlights are off.. There's no one there.. Death used to comfort me..
But now death has abandoned me.. and Life is running late
What if life never comes..? What if after I finally give life a chance.. Life gives up on me..?
It's so cold in here.. Tell him to quit looking at me..It's my windshield.. he can't see through it..
Officer, tell him to stop.. Nurse.. tell him to stop..
FUCKING TELL HIM TO STOP....
My windshield is fixed now, but I don't want to see..
I just want to get a room for the night, but the morgue says "NO VACANCY"...
So I want to go home now..
But I don't know where "home" is...
And my deadlights are out and I don't know.. Officer.. take me home.. Officer.. take me in.. But you cannot..
I am all alone.
Death has abandoned me.. and Life is running late
I woke up today and my shattered windshield was fixed..
I could see everything so much more clearly...
But death has abandoned me.. and Life is running late....